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Life In a Song

That dreadful feeling

I cannot listen to music without associating it with certain situations or people or places. It is a good thing and a bad. Sometimes, it gets terribly difficult to listen to a particular song if it evokes certain memories (which are now unpleasant).

One of those songs is Here Without You by 3 Doors Down. It used to be my happy song, which I cannot listen to now without a choking feeling. I feel claustrophobic, as if someone’s trying to smother me with a set of four pillows, and get pukish sensations.

The feeling is akin to wanting to run away from the world, without looking back even once.

Sadness, what a waste of happy music do the changed circumstances make!

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Fool To Think

Look at me dreaming of you
All I could hope is to have you
To have you walking with me
Laughing so in love, we two
Almost drunkenly
I did imbibe of this
Fantasy of you and me

Was I a fool to think?
The way you looked at me
I swear you did
But you looked away too quick
Was I a fool, was I a fool to think
That you would take me home
As if I was yours?
Was I fool to think it all?

I’ve grown tired of love
You are the trouble with me
I watch you walk right by
I smile, you do not notice me
Treat me recklessly
All you do is toss me pennies out
But the silence in me is screaming
Won’t you come and get me?

Was I a fool to think?
The way you looked at me
I swear you did
But you looked away too quick
Was I a fool, was I a fool to think
That you would take me home
As if I was yours?
Was I a fool to think at all?

Was I a fool to think?
The way you looked at me
I swear you did
But you looked away too quick
Was I a fool, was I a fool to think
That you would take me home
As if I was yours?
Was I a fool to think at all?

You make a mess of me here
I’ve danced a thousand steps for you
If you say yes to me
I’ll be whatever gets you through

You make a mess of me here
(Was I a fool?)
I’ve danced a thousand steps for you
(Was I a fool?)
Was I a fool, was I a fool to think?
Am I a fool, am I a fool for you?

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