I have been struggling with this feeling for quite some time now. If something can be the epitome of paradox, it has to be this. While I keep myself totally wrapped up with so called friends, I have no qualms in being the most extrovert of all among strangers. I am struggling with this self-inflicted loneliness. It scares me if I start getting too comfortable with people around me. And it hurts me when I have no one to talk to. It’s a lose-lose situation in any case. I shun people, and also hate myself for doing so. I don’t let people come close to me, and also long for that proximity.
Sometimes when I am lonely, and the big bad world scares me, I just wish I had someone to count upon. As I frantically flip through my contact lists across various platforms, I find no name despite looking hard. Will I just keep myself shunned like this forever? Is there no way out? Whom am I looking for? I don’t even want to face these questions. But there is no escape. I feel so trapped.
I wish all could be set right through some divine intervention. If only wishes could come true!